April Funnies

*I've realized I cannot concentrate on a conversation if the other person is holding a clear plastic bag of dog poop.

*Lauren: Do you know any French?
Me: No
Lauren: Does Daddy know any French?
Me: No
Lauren: Awwww, I should've taken Spanish!

*Derek was explaining how he was evolving Pokemon on his game. Me: Is that the 4H of the future?

*I was waiting in line and had taken a number. 14. Except they were calling out the numbers in Finnish. Crap, I only know up to three for sure and iffy past four. I call Derek and ask how to say 14 in Finnish. He tells me. I can't repeat it. I ask him to text it to me, visual learner that I am. Neljatoista. Good. I do not hear them when they call neljatoista. A worker comes up to me and asks in English if I had 14. Ooops. Yes.

*Lauren was picked to help interview canididates for the upper school principal position. At dinner we talked about possible questions she could ask.

Derek: If students set your house on fire and you could only take four things, what would you take?

Dan: Wait. That's a bad question. The person is going to be wondering why students set his house on fire.

*Over email-
Me: Lauren has a playdate on Saturday.
Dan: At what point do we stop calling them playdates? We should just say Lauren is hangin' with her homies.

*Discussing the Wizard of Oz and what each person needed from the Wizard. Derek: Didn't somebody need a kidney?

*Dan called on his way home. I was on my way out to run a kid somewhere. I told him there was creamy Thai chicken soup in the frig. When I got home...
Dan: What was in that little bowl in the frig?
Me: Umm...ranch dip. Why?
Dan: I thought it was the soup and microwaved it.

*Dan brought home a movie from a work friend. I asked if it was in English. He said no, Finnish and Mandarin. Derek, "Mandarin orange?"

*Lauren: Ouch! My toe! (Then she starts singing School House Rock. Interjections! Show excitement or emotion...)

*Derek, explaining about who is in his Saturday soccer club:
Well, there's one kid who's Scottish. He's really good. Umm, maybe he's Netherland-ish.
Dan: You mean he's Dutch?
Derek: Yeah!

*Lauren: I think you would call MORE attention to yourself if you dressed like a ninja.
Dan: Well, yeah, if you were walking down the street in a crowd of people, but not if you were being a good ninja.

*Dan was on his way out and called to tell us the front steps were extremely slippery. (Raining all afternoon, turned to ice. Fun.) I told him I'd put on my Yaktrax and go out and salt. He said maybe Derek should watch me in case, you know, I biffed it. So Derek is standing in the doorway, directing me as to where the salt should go. "It's REALLY icy there, Mom. No, there. Don't forget over here." I finally had to tell him that Daddy wanted him to watch, not speak.

*You are never in a good position if someone can kick you in the head.

*Derek was trying to negotiate a later bed time. Dan asked him what was in it for us if we let him stay up later, explaining that for a negotiation to work it had to be a win-win for all involved.
Dan: So what are you going to give us?
Derek: Grandchildren?

One of Lauren's friends took this pic of a reindeer in Lapland. I find it hilarious!